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home » Clean Jokes » You Know It’s Gonna Be A Bad Day When…

You Know It’s Gonna Be A Bad Day When…

Posted on Apr-29-2008· by make fun

Here are some tell-tale signs it’s gonna be a bad day. If any of these things happen, DO NOT leave the house. Crawl back into bed and start over again tomorrow.

You wake up face down on the pavement.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
Your income check bounces.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.

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Random Jokes

Mexican Electric Chair

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning - though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene? on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness,
and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the? University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”

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