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They Said THIS In the Bible
Posted on Jul-21-2008· by make fun
In the Beginning…
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In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.
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Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
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Moses Did All This?
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Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
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The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
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Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
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Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
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The Ten Commandments
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The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
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The Fifth Commandment is ‘Humor thy father and mother.’
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The Seventh Commandment is ‘Thou shalt not admit adultery.’
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Noah and the Ark
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Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.
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Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
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The Women of the Bible
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Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
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Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
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The Bible’s VIPs
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Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
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The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
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David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
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David fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
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Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
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Twists on the New Testament
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The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
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The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
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St. Paul cavorted to Christianity.
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Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
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In some religions a man can have many wives, and this is called polygamy. In our religion a man can have one wife, and this is called monotony.
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