The True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Comdid take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed,she had been called ‘Amazon Dot Com.’

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel far from townto town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short ofa camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?” And Dot replied, “I will placedrums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what youhave for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. Andthe sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable(UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with thedrums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham soldall the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himselfinside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young mandid take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dungThey were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDSfor short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and thedeafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were goingto the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drumcompany in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would workonly with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over byothers.”

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known”eBay” he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. It wasn’t Al Gore after all.