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Random Jokes

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression “to get fired.”

Canada is an Indian word meaning “Big Village”.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

“I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds!

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

The term “the whole 9 yards” came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got “the whole 9 yards.”

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Dr. Seuss pronounced “Seuss” such that it rhymed with “rejoice.”

The word “samba” means “to rub navels together.”

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize that *this* was the day of the changeover.

In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said “Play it again, Sam.”

The term, “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye” is from Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches was, “No eye gouging.” Everything else was allowed, but the only way to be disqualified was to poke someone’s eye out.

A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.

Sherlock Holmes never said “Elementary, my dear Watson.”

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

Money isn’t made out of paper, it’s made out of cotton.