home » sports jokes » Golf’s Greatest Quotes

Golf’s Greatest Quotes

Posted on May-11-2008· by

Drive for show, Putt for dough, Shank for comic relief.

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

Real golfers know how to count over five, when they have a bad hole.

Real golfers don’t miss putts, they get robbed.

In golf as in life, it’s the follow through that makes the difference.

Golf is an easy game… it’s just hard to play.

Real golfers don’t cry when they line up their fourth putt.

If there is any larceny in man, golf will bring it out.

Ben Hogan
I play with friends, but we don’t play friendly games.

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don’t you?

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.

Bob Allen
The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don’t put into it.

Bobby Jones
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears.

Bob Hope
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.’

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Byron Nelson
The only shots you can be dead sure of are those you’ve had already.

Dave Hill
The golf swing is like sex. You can’t be thinking about the mechanics of the act while you are performing.

Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at.

Gary Player

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

Harry Tofcano
I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.

Jack Nicklaus
Golf is not and has never has been a fair game.

I think I fail just a bit less than everyone else.

Lee Trevino
When I’m on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, ’cause I know even God can’t hit a one iron.

I’m going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.

You don’t know what pressure is until you’ve played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket.

I’m in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.

It’s the most fun I’ve ever had with my clothes on.

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced

If my IQ had been two lower I’d have been a plant somewhere

I’m hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Paul Harvey
Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’, shoot six and write down five.

Tommy Bolt
Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.

The greatest liar in the world is the golfer how claims he plays the game for merely exercise.

Tom Watson
A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do so.

Winston Churchill
Golf is a game who’s aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.


Leave Your Comments