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Random Jokes

Cat Competition
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was anEngineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "Tsquare, do your stuff."T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptlydrew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was prettysmart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat andsaid, Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchenand returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,"Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, tookout a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and pouredexactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What canyour cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies,drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimedhe injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafeworking conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for therest of the day on sick leave.