Archive for the ‘travel jokes’ Category

Lapland igloo:winter wonderland

Finland’s Lapland is a world of ice and snow,in ice and snow season, the temperature can reach 50 degrees Celsius below zero. Here, people can see that many of the most unique things Nordic, log cabin, bonfire jumping and, of course, igloo made of snow and ice.there are quite a local hotel-style glass igloo, although the shape and structure are same as the snow and ice dome, but inside there is another world. When the glass is heated, indoor temperature will maintain at a comfortable 21 Degrees or so, as well as to maintain the permeability of the glass. Lying in the warmth of a small house, through the glass roof to watch the quiet night sky, the distant and bright stars, if good luck you can also see the Northern Lights. The romance is hard to describe in words. As a result, the glass igloo has become a favorite of lovers,many couples come there for special honeymoon.

Finland’s largest ice hotel open

Finland’s largest ice hotel open
Finland’s largest ice hotel scheduled to open on the Dec 10th. They will give the visitors really “cold” reception, and the customers are willing to spend the night in the cold room.
The ice hotel is located in “lainio snow village”,which is near Gentile.The hotel covers an area of 7500 square meters and constructed by 15 artists. The big work spend more than three weeks.
Now the ice hotel have a total of 30 sets of room and allow 60 visitors to accommodate per night.
There is no sunlight in the hotel,and the room temperature keep in degrees Celsius below zero. The bed is made of a large chunks of ice.Although they said they put boards and the soft mattress on the bed to make visitors sleep comfortably,but I think it is hard for most of people to feel comfortable when sleeping on ice.

I own the fastest car

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”.

The dude replies “A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost $500,000.”

“That’s a lotta money!” says the old man, shocked. “Why does it cost so much?”

“Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!” states the cool dude proudly.

The old man asks “Can I take a look inside?”

“Sure” replies the owner.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says “That’s a pretty nice car, alright!”

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320. Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!

The guy wonders “what on earth could be going faster than my Turbo BeepBeeP?” Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.

Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! Couldn’t be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a Turbo BeepBeep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!

WhoooooooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.

The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. The guy runs up to the dying old man and asks “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”

The old man replies “Yeah. Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!”

The very bad accident

Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, “Here, maybe you’d like a nip to calm your nerves.” “Thanks,” he said, and took a long pull from the container. “Here, you have one, too,” he added, handing back the whiskey. “Well, I’d rather not,” said the first. “At least not until after the police have been here.”

New airbag in Detroit

GENERAL MOTORS INTRODUCES NEW INSTANT-WIN AIRBAGS DETROIT–

With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday. The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all of the company’s 1997 cars.

“Auto accidents have never been so exciting,” said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the contest to boost 1997 sales significantly. “When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXI in New Orleans. Or a year’s worth of free Mobil gasoline.”

Though it does not officially begin until Jan. 1, 1997, the airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive. “As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself, ‘Oh, boy, this could be it–I could be a big winner!’” said Cincinnati’s Martin Frelks, who lost his wife but won $50 Sunday when the Buick LeSabre they were driving hit an oil slick at 60 mph and slammed into an oncoming truck.

“When the car stopped rolling down the embankment, I knew Ellen was dead, but all I could think about was getting the blood and glass out of my eyes so I could read that airbag!” “It’s really addictive,” said Sacramento, CA, resident Marjorie Kamp, speaking from her hospital bed, where she is listed in critical condition with severe brain hemorrhaging and a punctured right lung.

“I’ve already crashed four cars trying to win those Super Bowl tickets, but I still haven’t won. I swear, I’m going to win those tickets–even if it kills me!” Kamp said that as soon as she is well enough, she plans to buy a new Pontiac Bonneville and drive it into a tree.

GM officials are not surprised the airbag contest has been so well received. “In the past, nobody really liked car wrecks, and that’s understandable. After all, they’re scary and dangerous and, sometimes, even fatal,” GM CEO Paul Offerman said. “But now, when you drive a new GM car or truck, your next serious crash could mean serious cash.

Who wouldn’t like that?” Offerman added that in the event a motorist wins a prize but is killed, that prize will be awarded to the next of kin. According to GM’s official contest rules, odds of winning the grand prize, a brand-new 1997 Cutlass Supreme, are 1 in 43,000,000.

Statistical experts, however, say the real chances of winning are significantly worse. “If you factor in the odds of getting in a serious car accident in the first place–approximately 1 in 720,000–the actual odds of winning a prize each time you step in your car are more like 1 in 31 trillion.”

Further, even if one is in an accident, there is no guarantee the airbag will inflate. “I was recently broadsided by a drunk driver in my new Chevy Cavalier,” said Erie, PA, resident Jerry Polaner. “My car was totaled, and because it was the side of my car that got hit, my airbag didn’t even inflate. But what really gets me is the fact that the drunk driver, who rammed my side with the front of his 1997 Buick Regal, won a $100 Office Depot gift certificate. That’s just wrong.”

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