Redneck jokes | Make Fun

breaking: The world’s first divorce Insurance
breaking: “Beautiful Marriage blanket” can absorb the partners’s stink fart
breaking: American government intends to hit five million U.S. dollars for advertising the benefits of marriage
breaking: More than 300,000 pairs of young people in this day of marriage

Archive for the ‘Redneck jokes’ Category

You might be the redneck if.

You might be the redneck if. You get hooked on phoenix for Christmas.GIT! YA HEAR!

Interrogation. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. They placed the message “HE’S LYING” in the copier, and pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, [...]

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tampon plug

tampon plug you might be a redneck if your husband used a tampon to plug the bathroom sink.

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A pretty girl

A pretty girl WHAT DO YOU CALL A PRETTY GIRL ON THE ARM OF A BOY FROM ALABAMA? A TATTOO!

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British boys got the dream work: toys trial players

An 8-year-old boy in England won a competition, won the dream job – Toys trial players. The lucky boy named James Childs, his dream come true after he participated in a children’s competition. The contest attracted many children to attend, each participant is asked to explain why they should get the job to the Japan’s [...]

Thailand kissing marathon

As the essential funny activity as a Valentine’s Day, Thailand held a kissing marathon once again, the contestants need continuously kiss two days, they can create a new Guinness World Record, get diamond rings and other awards. A total of seven pairs of lovers take part in the competition, the competition provisions is that they [...]

Singapore kissing robot can simulate real tongue kiss feeling

Singapore researcher has developed a funny “kissing robot, it can simulate and transmit the feeling of kissing, to bring additional intimate contact for distant lover, can also be used as the auxiliary equipment of video games. The robot named Kissinger, similar to the shape and size of softball, it has two built-in touch sensitive device [...]

China collectors show his stone dinner in spring festival

Mr. Wu lived in Fuzhou, China. He showed his ten years of stone collection on the eve of the Dragon Spring Festival, including the chicken, clam, pork, eggs, crabs, fish, cabbage, rice cakes, bananas, oranges, carambola … all of the “food” are placed in the plate, 100 kinds of sumptuous “dinner” just like real dinner, [...]

The crazy and funny animal pictures

The crazy and funny animal pictures…

the wonders-”Melting moon”

February 27, 2009, 16 Comments

A two-headed cow was bornin Estonia

January 8, 2010, 6 Comments

Cute snout robot on roof of the Pittsburgh Center

August 14, 2008, 5 Comments

Viagra

September 27, 2007, 4 Comments

A rabbit become the world’s largest rabbit in England

February 23, 2010, 4 Comments

julia: has anyone ever fallen of this swimming pool and have died because of

: So...this is not her face for keeps. 10 years (6 years) from now, she

me: That is impossible to wear because you are walking on your toes liturl

Shorty: He taller than me and I'm 13

: How do I learn to do this

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Random Jokes

The Christmas airport
It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.

Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. (Almost a scrooge) Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointer parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.

With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if we were married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."

"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."

"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."

"That's not why it's there."

"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"

"It's there so you can kiss your luggage good-bye."

HISTORY OF THE DAY

Opportunity's Selfie

NASA's Mars Rover Opportunity catches its own late-afternoon shadow in this dramatically lit view eastward across Endeavour Crater on Mars. The rover used the panoramic camera (Pancam) between about 4:30 and 5:00 p.m. local Mars time to record images taken through different filters and combined into this mosaic view. Most of the component images were recorded during the 2,888th Martian day, or sol, of Opportunity's work on Mars (March 9, 2012). At that time, Opportunity was spending low-solar-energy weeks of the Martian winter at the Greeley Haven outcrop on the Cape York segment of Endeavour's western rim. In order to give the mosaic a rectangular aspect, some small parts of the edges of the mosaic and sky were filled in with parts of an image acquired earlier as part of a 360-degree panorama from the same location. Opportunity has been studying the western rim of Endeavour Crater since arriving there in August 2011. This crater spans 14 miles (22 kilometers) in diameter, or about the same area as the city of Seattle. This is more than 20 times wider than Victoria Crater, the largest impact crater that Opportunity had previously examined. The interior basin of Endeavour is in the upper half of this view. The mosaic combines about a dozen images taken through Pancam filters centered on wavelengths of 753 nanometers (near infrared), 535 nanometers (green) and 432 nanometers (violet). The view is presented in false color to make some differences between materials easier to see, such as the dark sandy ripples and dunes on the crater's distant floor. Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/Cornell/Arizona State Univ.
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