Redneck jokes | Make Fun

breaking: The world’s first divorce Insurance
breaking: “Beautiful Marriage blanket” can absorb the partners’s stink fart
breaking: American government intends to hit five million U.S. dollars for advertising the benefits of marriage
breaking: More than 300,000 pairs of young people in this day of marriage

Archive for the ‘Redneck jokes’ Category

tampon plug

tampon plug you might be a redneck if your husband used a tampon to plug the bathroom sink.

Redneck Defined You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You and your dog use the same tree. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. The blue book value of your truck goes [...]

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You might be a Redneck if..

You might be a Redneck if.. You might be a redneck if your house is mobile and the six cars in your front yard are not.

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A pretty girl

A pretty girl WHAT DO YOU CALL A PRETTY GIRL ON THE ARM OF A BOY FROM ALABAMA? A TATTOO!

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British boys got the dream work: toys trial players

An 8-year-old boy in England won a competition, won the dream job – Toys trial players. The lucky boy named James Childs, his dream come true after he participated in a children’s competition. The contest attracted many children to attend, each participant is asked to explain why they should get the job to the Japan’s [...]

Thailand kissing marathon

As the essential funny activity as a Valentine’s Day, Thailand held a kissing marathon once again, the contestants need continuously kiss two days, they can create a new Guinness World Record, get diamond rings and other awards. A total of seven pairs of lovers take part in the competition, the competition provisions is that they [...]

Singapore kissing robot can simulate real tongue kiss feeling

Singapore researcher has developed a funny “kissing robot, it can simulate and transmit the feeling of kissing, to bring additional intimate contact for distant lover, can also be used as the auxiliary equipment of video games. The robot named Kissinger, similar to the shape and size of softball, it has two built-in touch sensitive device [...]

China collectors show his stone dinner in spring festival

Mr. Wu lived in Fuzhou, China. He showed his ten years of stone collection on the eve of the Dragon Spring Festival, including the chicken, clam, pork, eggs, crabs, fish, cabbage, rice cakes, bananas, oranges, carambola … all of the “food” are placed in the plate, 100 kinds of sumptuous “dinner” just like real dinner, [...]

The crazy and funny animal pictures

The crazy and funny animal pictures…

the wonders-”Melting moon”

February 27, 2009, 16 Comments

A two-headed cow was bornin Estonia

January 8, 2010, 6 Comments

Cute snout robot on roof of the Pittsburgh Center

August 14, 2008, 5 Comments

Viagra

September 27, 2007, 4 Comments

A rabbit become the world’s largest rabbit in England

February 23, 2010, 4 Comments

julia: has anyone ever fallen of this swimming pool and have died because of

: So...this is not her face for keeps. 10 years (6 years) from now, she

me: That is impossible to wear because you are walking on your toes liturl

Shorty: He taller than me and I'm 13

: How do I learn to do this

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Random Jokes

Purina Diet
A friend of mine has a big Labrador retriever. While I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart for him, a woman behind me in the check out line asked if it was for a dog (duh?).

On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. The way that it works is you load all your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital last time because I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a cardiac, and would require need help as he laughed so hard he fell to the floor.

HISTORY OF THE DAY

Opportunity's Selfie

NASA's Mars Rover Opportunity catches its own late-afternoon shadow in this dramatically lit view eastward across Endeavour Crater on Mars. The rover used the panoramic camera (Pancam) between about 4:30 and 5:00 p.m. local Mars time to record images taken through different filters and combined into this mosaic view. Most of the component images were recorded during the 2,888th Martian day, or sol, of Opportunity's work on Mars (March 9, 2012). At that time, Opportunity was spending low-solar-energy weeks of the Martian winter at the Greeley Haven outcrop on the Cape York segment of Endeavour's western rim. In order to give the mosaic a rectangular aspect, some small parts of the edges of the mosaic and sky were filled in with parts of an image acquired earlier as part of a 360-degree panorama from the same location. Opportunity has been studying the western rim of Endeavour Crater since arriving there in August 2011. This crater spans 14 miles (22 kilometers) in diameter, or about the same area as the city of Seattle. This is more than 20 times wider than Victoria Crater, the largest impact crater that Opportunity had previously examined. The interior basin of Endeavour is in the upper half of this view. The mosaic combines about a dozen images taken through Pancam filters centered on wavelengths of 753 nanometers (near infrared), 535 nanometers (green) and 432 nanometers (violet). The view is presented in false color to make some differences between materials easier to see, such as the dark sandy ripples and dunes on the crater's distant floor. Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/Cornell/Arizona State Univ.
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