Archive for the ‘Police Jokes’ Category
The cheap fashion
Posted on Nov-20-2008 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
Michelle Obama’s dress is over is 3500 U.S. dollars in election night.But she not merely wear such expensive brands.she wear the black and white plaid skirt only worth 30 U.S. dollars in Independence Day. She often wear cheap clothing with quality accessories, which attracted many people to follow.Beauty is not equal to expensive.
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Appendicitis
Posted on Nov-08-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that takes everything with it when you pull it off. Written in large red letters across the tape was the sentence: Get well quick….. From the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”
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Parking
Posted on Sep-27-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking agolf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with thedome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat readinga computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting.He stopped to investigate.
He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young manlooked up, cranked the window down, and said, “Yes, officer?”
“What are you doing?” the policeman asked.
“What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading amagazine.”
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officerthen asked, “And what is she doing?”
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does itlook like? She’s knitting.”
“And how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man.
“I’m nineteen,” he replied.
“And how old is she?” asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in abouttwelve minutes she’ll be eighteen.”
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Local Man Murdered
Posted on Sep-27-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
A local man was found murdered in his home inCalifornia over the weekend. Detectives at thescene found the man face down in his bathtub.
The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes,and the deceased had a banana protruding from hisbuttocks.
Police suspect a cereal killer.
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Six Foot
Posted on Sep-27-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger-side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding… Wouldn’t you know that a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, and motioned him to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen.
The cop walked up to the window and said, “You know how fast you were going, boy?”
Bob thought for a second and said, “Uh, 60?”
“67 miles per hour, son! 67 miles per hour in a 55 zone!” said the cop.
“But if you already knew, officer,” replied Bob, “why did you ask me?”
Fuming over Bob’s answer, the officer growled and said in his sarcastic fashion, “That’s speeding, and you’re getting a ticket and a fine!”
The cop took a good close look at Bob in his stained fishing attire and said, “You don’t even look like you have a job! Why, I’ve never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!”
Bob answered, “I’ve got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!”
The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob’s fish, and said, “What kind of job would a bum like you have?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher!” replied Bob.
“What did you say, boy?” asked the patrolman.
“I’m a rectum stretcher!”
The cop, scratching his head, asked, “What does a rectum stretcher do?”
Bob explained, “People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, then one whole hand, and then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it’s a full six feet across.”
The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, “What the hell do you do with a six-foot asshole?”
Bob said, “You give him a radar gun and place him by a bridge!”
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