Archive for the ‘One Liner Jokes’ Category
Homer Simpson’s Wisdom

The following are quotes picked out from??TV show. Homer, the father character in the cartoon, isn’t known for being particularly witty but we managed to put together some of his best?wisdom over the years. Kinda gives you a whole new respect for the “Doh!” guy. “If you really want something in life you have to […]

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The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

It could have been worse. That’s pretty much my motto when stuff gets bad. Just when I think things can’t possibly go more wrong, they do. Remember that. Good: Your wife is pregnant.Bad: It’s triplets.Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your wife’s not talking to you.Bad: She wants a divorce.Ugly: She’s a […]

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Thoughts On Getting Older

Today, as I sit here in my office, I realize I’m getting older. Not terribly old, but definately older today than I was yesterday. As I sit here and ponder thoughts like “with age comes wisdom” and “aging like a fine wine”, one can’t help but to think negative thoughts like… Maybe it’s true that […]

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Dating vs Marriage

When you’re dating… Farting is never an issue.When you’re married… You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you’re dating… He takes you out to have a good time.When you’re married… He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?” When you’re dating… He holds […]

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