Archive for the ‘Gay Jokes’ Category

Brokeback Mountain - Deputy Edition

A few overworked deputy sheriffs deserved a vaction, together they decided to go on a mountain retreat. Since police officers are so underpaid, they decided to sleap two per room so they could afford the trip.

Now, nobody wanted to sleep in the same room with Daryl - he’s got a well known reputation for snoring? and since it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time - so they voted to take turns.

The first deputy to?bunk with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot, looking like he didnt get any sleep. They said, “Man, what happened to you?” He said, “Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night, couldn’t get any sleep.”

The?following night it was a different deputy’s turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all?messed up, eyes blood-shot, etc. They said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!” He said, “Man, that Daryl! Shakes the roof he’s so loud. I watched him all night.”

The third night was Frank’s turn. Now Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man’s man. Said he wasn’t gonna put up with any snoring… “We’ll see!” said the other debuties. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. “Good morning, wonderful day outside isn’t it?” he said.

They couldn’t believe it! They said, “Man, what happened?” He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went over and tucked Daryl into bed,?then kissed him good night. He sat up all night just watching me. Didn’t snore a bit, hehe.”

Murphy’s Logic

One day Murphy was outside and was mowing his grass when a big moving truck pulled in the driveway next to his. Knowing that no one lives there he figures that he is getting new nieghbor’s. He finishes up his grass and the neighbor’s are unloading the truck he walks up to the fence and says hello, I’m Murphy and I live next door. Well the guy sets down the box that he is carrying and says “good to meet you Murphy I, am Tim”.

Well the two of them got to talking and Murphy asked Tim what he did for a living. Tim thought for a moment and proclaimed proudly that “I deal with logic.” Murphy, looking dumbfounded, said “what?” Tim offered Murphy an example.

Murphy said “allright.” Tim said, “Do you have a dog? Murphy?replied “yea, I have a dog”. Tim then stated “Well then it is logical to assume that you have children.” Murphy said that is right, I have 2. Tim then stated “if you have 2 kids then it is logical to assume that you have a wife.” Murphy said “Yea, 10 years now!” Tim said “well then its logical to assume that you are a “heterosexual.” Tim, astonished, said “Wow, that’s right!”

Well later that day Murphy came across his other neighbor Jim and Jim said “Hey, I see you have a new neighbor.” Murphy stated “Yea, he’s very interesting too.” Jim says “what do you mean?” “Well, Murphy stated he has the most interesting job.” Jim said “What is it?” “Murphy says he deals with logic.” Jim said “Logic.. what?” “That’s what I said” stated Murphy. “Well let me give you an example.”

Murphy said “Jim, do you have a dog?” Jim said “Now you know I dont have no dog.” So Murphy pondered this for a minute and said “You’re gay!”

Harry Potter, Gay?

This YouTube vid does a good job making you think so. “Harry Potter… will learn how love can drain the wizard.” See for yourself, lmao!

“Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire… this Thanksgiving - Don’t ask, Don’t Spell”

Rifleman

Don’t you remember the good ‘ole days when a young boy could hold a large piece of wood up to a grown man’s crotch and it wasn’t inappropriate?

Wild Alabama Party

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible.

Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet.

After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner one day when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. “Name’s Enoch… Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge… Having a party Saturday… Thought you’d like to come.”

“Great,” says Sam, “after 6 months of this I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Enoch is leaving he stops, “Gotta warn you there’s gonna be some drinking.” “Not a problem… After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.”

Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.” Damn, Sam thinks… Tough crowd. “Well, I get along with people. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

Once again Enoch turns from the door. “I’ve seen some wild sex at these parties, too.” “Now that’s not a problem,” says Sam, “Remember I’ve been alone for 6 months! I’ll definitely be there… By the way, what should I wear?”

Enoch stops in the door again and says, “Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us.”

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