Make Fun » Clean Jokes

Blonde Car Accident Joke

make fun — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:18:17 +0000

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truckâ€™s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not [...]

I hit a pig

make fun — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:46:01 +0000

The foreman was just wondering why one of his men was so late getting back from making a delivery, when the phone rang. â€œSorry boss,â€ said the man. â€œI had a bit of an accident on the way back, I hit a pig.â€ â€œWell,just put it on the side of the road and weâ€™ll pick [...]

itâ€™s mine

make fun — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:26:34 +0000

A guy dressed in pyjamas went up to the hotel,asked for the key to room 404. â€œIâ€™m sorry, sir, the roomâ€™s taken,â€ came the reply. â€œI knowâ€ replied theguy â€œitâ€™s mine. I just fell out of the window!â€

The Wisdom Of Children

make fun — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:14:04 +0000

The Wisdom Of Children: When a man is married to one woman it is called monotony Spaghetti is thrown on people at weddings A senator is half horse, half man An optimist is a doctor who treats your eyes Philatelists were a race of people who lived in biblical times An epistle is the wife [...]

They Said THIS In the Bible

make fun — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:13:56 +0000

In the Beginning… â€¢ In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. â€¢ Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Moses Did All This? â€¢ Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is [...]

Humor: 13 Sunday School Bible Bloopers

make fun — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:13:07 +0000

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. 1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis the Lord got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. 2. Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree. 3. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. 4. Lot’s wife was a pillar of [...]

Hard Time Teller

make fun — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:21:28 +0000

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, “I want to open a blankety-blank checking account” To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?” “Listen up darn it, I said I want to open a blankety-blank checking account right now.” “Sir, I’m sorry but [...]

Cat Contemplation

make fun — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:11:00 +0000

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." --Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." --Anonymous

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." --Joseph Wood Krutch

"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." --Anonymous

"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes." --Anonymous

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." --Anonymous

Have you ever wondered?

make fun — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:20:00 +0000

- Can you cry under water?

- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

- Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

- What did cured ham actually have?

- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

- Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON television?

- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Alcohol Consumption Warning

make fun — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 23:59:00 +0000

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

- The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

- The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

- The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

- The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your behind kicked.

- The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.

- The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

- The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.