Archive for the ‘chemical jokes’ Category
Curing the Mute
Posted on Oct-14-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
Morris walks into Dr. Cohen’s office and puts a note on the table in front of the Doctor. The note says, “I can’t talk, please help me!”
The doctor thinks for a while and says to Morris, “Put your penis on the table here.” Morris thinks this is a bit weird, but Cohen is a specialist, so does as he says. The doctor takes a rubber mallet and hits Morris’ penis with it as hard as he can.
The man cries in great agony, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Then the doctor says, “Good, come again tomorrow and we’ll learn B!”
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Brown Balls
Posted on Oct-08-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
The father of 17 kids goes to the doc’s with a rash on his belly. “All right” says the Doc, “drop ‘em and let’s have a look.” Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims “Yes, you’ve got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you’ve got. They’re truly remarkable!”.
The patient is a bit embarrassed and says “Look Doc, what about the rash?”
“Oh that’s easy,” said the Doc, “Here’s some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask…..”
“No,” said the patient, “You can’t. Now, is that all Doc?”
“Well, ” said the Doctor, ” You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I’ve ever seen!”
The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.
“What?” she yells, “Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven’t even got time to wipe my arse!”
“Ah” he said, “And that’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about…”
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Bus Accident
Posted on Oct-08-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That’s terrible! What’s the good news?
Doctor: There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
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Cannibal heartburn
Posted on Oct-08-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
A cannibal says to a doctor, “I have terrible heartburn.”
“What did you eat?”
“A couple of missionaries with hooded robes.” “How did you cook them?”
“Boiled.”
“No wonder you have heartburn. Those aren’t boilers. They’re friars!”
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Career Path — or In my footsteps?
Posted on Oct-08-2007 · by make fun ( make fun had published 6418 articles)
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter….
On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
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