Make Fun » bar jokes

Drunken Reincarnation

make fun — Sun, 04 May 2008 01:34:24 +0000

James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed?next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn’t wake [...]

That Monkey Will Eat Anything

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:58:37 +0000

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, sits down and orders a drink. Shortly after, the monkey starts jumping all over the place and acting crazy. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them… grabs some sliced limes and eats them… then jumps up on the pool table, grabs [...]

Drunk Poker

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:58:17 +0000

A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks”. The bartender said, “No problem sir, but I’ll need to see some money first”. The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on [...]

Belligerent Bear

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:58:08 +0000

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.”The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, [...]

15 Rules Of Drunk Dialing

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:57:59 +0000

Before you go out getting sloppy drunk and start phoning?every friend, family, relative, or random person you can come across – there are a few rules you must know. Etiquette is very important, especially when drunk dialing.? Only drunk dial when you’re drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. It’s okay to call someone 27 times [...]

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:57:50 +0000

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk: 1. Innovative2. Preliminary3. Proliferation4. Cinnamon Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk: 1. Specificity2. Anti-constitutionalistically3. Passive-aggressive disorder4. Transubstantiate Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You’re Drunk: 1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.2. Nope, no more booze for me!3. [...]

Married Bar Talk

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:57:29 +0000

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. [...]

Designated Decoy

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:57:16 +0000

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his [...]

New FDA Alcohol Warnings

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:57:07 +0000

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a loser. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. Consumption of [...]

Three Racehorses

make fun — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:56:30 +0000

Three racehorses were sitting in a bar bragging to each other about their life accomplishments. The first horse boasts “I’ve been in 59 races and I’ve won 35 of them.” “That’s nothing,” says the second horse. “I’ve raced 97 times, and I’ve won 78 of them!” The third horse joins in: “Well, I’ve raced 122 [...]